Triumphant Return to Vegas Pool Party Scene

Tiger back in the danger zone

Tiger “back in the danger zone”

TMZ has obtained a photo of Tiger Woods back in the danger zone — the Las Vegas pool party scene — where he was SURROUNDED by hot chicks in bikinis …

I can’t remember how I ended up at this particular page. Even resorting to Google Chrome’s history, it only says that somehow I went from China Miéville’s essay at directly to a Google image search on Prince Harry, which means that somewhere there must have been an ad or sponsored link about Dirty Harry’s latest antics – a ‘rager’ in a hotel room in Vegas. From there of course, I can see how I arrived at the Tiger Woods story. Somewhere along the way there was something on the Guardian site about an outbreak of syphilis in LA.

A few net-ticks ago everyone was talking about #rape.

Prince Harry shooting balls

Prince Harry shooting balls

I find it remarkably easy to dislike Harry – though admittedly this is all bound up with class/race/ privilege prejudice – and of course tinged with jealousy at his cavorting, all paid for, at a VIP suite in a sort of porn film all of his own, with “various bikini clad hotties” and so on and so forth. I am hereby resorting to that sanctuary from the animal self, the intellect. For some reason it’s easier to sympathise with “poor old” Tiger, who has suffered horribly from his life in the fast lane. Again this is probably entirely irrational. I could argue that at least Tiger had to work his way up – hours, weeks, months hitting a little ball about. But then I don’t like golf.

Harry seems intent on outing the moral vacuum that is Royal Family: The Next Generation. Many will say that there is nothing new in this save the pervasiveness of the internet and the camera phone, and perhaps Harry’s stupidity/inebriation/naivety in going on a rager with a bunch of random camera phone equipped people in Vegas. Actually ‘naive’ and ‘rager in Vegas’ don’t really go together. I reckon he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. Maybe his security team will be bollocked.

Of course, this is 2012. We’re all human, all too human. Who wouldn’t want to try a Vegas rager once in their lives, might lie on their deathbed kinda wishing they had etc. But Harry’s not really human. His dad owns half of London and his grandma owns a whole lot more, and yet still ask the British taxpayer (who’s just forked out £14bn for the Olympics) to pay their heating bills. In fact, the British taxpayer probably paid for the Vegas rager. At least, we could say, “poor old” Tiger Woods pays his own way.

But this isn’t really a Royal parasite type article. I’ve never met any of the Royal Family. The closest I have come to the Queen was when she visited the V&A Museum when I worked there and I saw her in the stair well from two floors up. I have to say I was impressed. The woman has power and poise, as you would hope, in a queen.

If the Royals, as the argument goes, are supposed to be value for money in that they attract international tourism and investment to the country, and put the queen in Kingdom, so to speak, then surely this latest debacle by Harry (the paparazzi site TMZ has a carousel of his recent history) must be highly damaging. Vegas rager is a long way from Olympic ceremonies and the Jubilee. If they are a brand, then shouldn’t there be Google Analytics of some kind applied to them? KPIs and stuff…

The pookl

The pool

Unless there is some scope in the idea that Harry’s presence in the same Vegas pool as Tiger and countless other lights of the modern scene indicates some sort of levelling out process. Pornstar, Prince, golfer that’s the place you end up. A little white mischief. (Tiger isn’t exactly black.) Stateside comments on the TMZ site certainly lean that way. He’s only having fun and so on. Sounds like Harry had a great trip. Mayan temples of Belize to the pools of Vegas.

Maybe it’s just because I don’t read tabloids (or look at the pictures) that often, but this all seems like a dangerous precedent. The guy shouldn’t have been there. Or if it is OK for the Royals to piss about in Vegas pool parties, then they can’t be Royals anymore. Isn’t it that simple? You want the immense privileges of royalty, you gotta behave accordingly. Decorum, it’s called. You can’t go gallivanting around Afghanistan like some kind of paragon without it.

RHS…this is the guy who floated down the Thames a few months ago (tax payer’s expense) in a gold brocade uniform, alongside his granny who is the Head of the Church of England…Am I being old fashioned here? Or are we looking at abuse of power again?

Buckingham Palace should apologise.


One thought on “Triumphant Return to Vegas Pool Party Scene

  1. Totally agree.

    The sovereign historically wielded real power, maintaing it at any cost would have meant: fratricide; an arrow in the eye; poison in the tower; death on horseback.

    The Royal Family are now a largely symbolic faction, and whether you believe that to be just for front of house for Brand GB, or as last vestige of old money that acts as a counterpoint to the dark excesses of meritocracy, the deal is that they keep the stiff upper lip, the orb & sceptre, they do not break the illusion. Demigods cannot go wild in Spearmint Rhino.

    The Queen is the last remaining “celeb” who does not bare all (literally or otherwise). It was actually her who had the right reaction to the Princess Di death – not the Blairite crocodile tear media orgy that followed. And like yourself I saw her once & she did indeed wield an incredible temporal hold. Republicans & old style lefties might want to mutter about democracy & “our taxes” here – but they would miss the point that this symbolic point of deference & reference is necessary. If not HRH, then god, technology, money, politics.. something far worse.

    You kind of hope that Prince Harry will fall on his sword, do a Profumo, vanish from public life. More likely to pop up on MTV Cribs though.

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